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15-Jun-2016 07:48

Another of my male relatives brought home a woman for Christmas who seemed like a modern-day, socially progressive southern belle.She was blonde, full figured, outgoing, and outspoken with a saucy southern accent and friendly, expressive manner.This is due in part to the unsettling evidence that many groups of men do not prefer black women.According to data released by the online dating site Ok Cupid, black women (perhaps due to politeness; perhaps due to the recognition of their less desirable status) respond to more initial overtures than other groups; at the same time, black women's initial contacts are ignored most often.

Dating and marrying across racial lines should therefore be natural, common and acceptable. This is the United States, where a deep-seated notion of racial difference has been the rationalization for oppression, the rallying cry for discrimination against people who are not white.

Try as I might to suppress the reaction, I experience black men's choice of white women as a personal rejection of the group in which I am a part, of African American women as a whole, who have always been devalued in this society.

Certainly my reaction links back to a few bad apples in my own young dating years.

Race and the characteristics that have come to represent it -- like skin color, eye color, and hair texture -- would not be factors in matters of the heart.

This is the way things would be if our love lives actually mirrored recent scientific findings, which tell us the human family is so genetically close that we share more than 99 percent of our DNA.

I wish my male relatives luck and joy in their relationships, but I also feel a pinch when I watch them with their girlfriends.



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